bobthebadger

visited 40 states (80%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

Not that it really matters, nor is it a dig at 'any one person' because in the last few weeks it seems almost like an epidemic - but then, doesn't everything in any social media? The whole Gestalt mind and all that.

There seems a big movement afoot to "retake back Live Journal". Now, this in and of itself is not something bad at all, I am fully behind the revitalization of Live Journal over things like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter (though I still don't think of Twitter as being anything like the same Media) as a means of actually having discussions.

What is getting to me is that it seems that the way a large number of folks are 'taking things back' is by trimming friends lists, going 'all friends only' etc. This makes no sense to me because one of the things that MADE Live Journal great over the years was the ability to get to know someone (or just lurk) through public posts etc.

Live Journal has come a long way with giving us tools to control and 'hide' the things that one doesn't want public. And some would say I'm a hypocrite - I have had a 'friend locked' Journal for years, my original one. This is mostly because I was too lazy to go back and flag older messages the right way, and back in the day I definitely posted things I wouldn't want to just show up in any Google search.

But - I intend to fix that. I had actually 'revived' that account (and will probably cross post this) recently. I've been feeling my own lack of participation has been contributing directly to the decline of LJ. If only a few post or discuss (and now there are so many tools to control the trolls - I really need to get past my ... distaste of the unpleasant folks) what excuse is there really?


Well... another mind burp, brain fart rambling post from Ferret. Or Bob. Guess it depends on who you are.

I'm no longer a young man. I'm coming up on one of the "marker" birthdays. I don't really care. Actually, if I am being truthful, I'm actually feeling pretty down about it. Which is a strange thing honestly for me because I usually don't care about birthdays. Age is relative and all that shit.

But it is a lie when you realize that you do care. That you've wasted many a year. That you're always saying "I'll get to that." Better yet is, yes, I am going to do that. I will change.

I lie. Constantly. I know, rare indeed is the person who never lies about anything. But most folks do not make it a habit to lie to themselves. Constantly.

Some call it self confidence. Others, Arrogance. All nice ideas, but its lying. Plain and simple.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm always robbing Peter to pay Paul. I'm constantly going to "do that tomorrow". And I remember nothing.

And - now I'm not even sure what I was doing with this post.

Guess I'll go to bed. And write more tomorrow.

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Please. This type of question, with the phrasing that plainly lays out the implication that it is impossible for "mankind to advance" unless it turns away from technology seems incredibly "Luddite" to me.

And this is when I look up - notice the "subject line" and just shake my head.

Any comment I have is pretty much .. pointless.

No. And No.

This was supposed to be my "alternate" LJ account, the one not everyone knew about, that the family and friends wouldn't examine - and then I pretty much add everyone on Ferret to this one, and stop posting.

I've told myself I wasn't going to whine anymore about life - so, I write nothing on my "life" journal, and find myself creatively dead so write nothing here.

Bleh... nevermind.

I had a few things and as I typed - just said no. I'm just ... tired of it all.

I'm amused at how we prioritize our decisions, making huge statements in life that "this one" is more important than that one. And, not satisfied with making such broad brush strokes for ourselves, declare some decisions BIG ONES for everyone.

And, like so many other things among the hive mind that is humanity, those that disagree about the importance of one decision or the other are slapped with a variety of labels.

I'm so sick of hearing from all directions that the decisions I make over the next several months have any more or less importance than the ones I make everyday, all because "everyone says so".


And, I'm deciding now to just drop this whole line of thought as my whole ... desire to even attempt to put any of this to paper has fled.

I apologize for not being around for those that keep track of these things.  For not commenting often, or writing myself.  I've been fairly .. voyeuristic lately as I'd grown very tired of just bitching and whining about things I was not doing anything about.

So - I'll work on being around more often again.  I've missed the interaction.

- C

Getting to Tucson from Phoenix took forever last night. Yes, it was after midnight when I set out, but I was feeling pretty ticked off when I hit the road construction at that hour.  I cursed, and swore - and tried not to rubberneck when I passed all the flashing lights off to the side.

I was a bit embarrassed I admit  at my reaction once I saw the collapse of the ramp.  It looks like there was a bad accident or something, but we were being waved past. 

I think there were several injured - I saw several folks who appeared dazed stumbling about.  One I saw just before driving past seemed to stumble right into the arms of the paramedics and I hear screams - they sounded terrible. 

All the closed I would have normally taken were closed - so I went up through northwest - dark, quiet.  I admit I was getting pretty tired.  There seemed to be a lot of emergency lights though.

This morning, things are strangely quiet.  Not as much traffic as I'd expected and it seems there are a lot of folks out.  Haven't heard of folks calling in though. 

I'm going to walk over to the cafeteria I think, see if I can get a bead on the gossip.

This is a rare (these days) "open post.

I have an addiction issue with Sugar Free Red Bull.  I've always laughed about it, grinned at people and generally approached it with the same humor folks give to coffee and such - but it really isn't funny at all.

Something that is ignored when you develop a dependency on an addictive substance is how much impact it has on your enjoyment of other similar things.  I love Tea, especially finer quality ones.  I haven't finished a good cup of tea in months, and I've been out of Monkey Picked now .. for a long time.

When I say I have a red bull addition, folks are thinking have one a day.  Its worse than that.  Its been ratcheting upward I'd say since sometime in Savannah - now, I'm thinking I'll be doing good if I can ween myself off to one a day.

And I'm trying. My wife is trying to limit my consumption - but please.  Hereon and Coke addicts manage to get their fixes past concerned persons and its illegal.  Its no problem at all for me to acquire a fix if I get the shakes - or the need.

And that is what has woke me up to things.  I haven't been sleeping very well, unless I drink a red bull late in the evening.  I have been irritable, have massive headaches and feel a general lack of energy since I've been cutting back - and it all goes away if I just drink one of those silver and blue cans. 

And it is specific to the can - the reaction to fast to just be caffeine and a physical thing, its a mental tie. 

And I've never been tolerant of actual addition. Prided myself on my ability to flirt with vices, but never go "too far".

So, I'm going to have to kick the habit.  And, I'm going to try to chart my progress.  I have gone searching for any others who have joined this journey - but while I find many of those that glory in their additions, haven't really found much for those who want to kick the monkey.

And ... lets just say, the "pro addict" sights talk about their 1 a day need.  I've been averaging 4 to 6.  And yes, its friggin expensive.  I'm feeling .. accompished that I've been cutting down to two.

So - anyone want to send me the "I told you so" that I have heard from many of you over the years, feel free.  Or whatever else strikes your fancy.

It really sucks that I love the taste ... always have, even before I went "sugar free".

It was a long night.

The constant noise of music - I can't identify half the stuff they are listening to anymore. A lot of it seemed to have a pounding beat, maybe something to keep them all pounding in time with one another.

They seemed more active in the darkness, though lacking something in the brain. More than teens usually do that is.

I was able to block the doors. Some of the windows I managed to at least reinforce. They haven't figured out they can step up on things yet - instead just flinging themselves against the walls. Especially when they hear noise - or see light.

Max - is being ignored. Apparently they are only interested in humans.

I tried to warn others - but I don't think anyone is believing me. I'm regretting I didn't keep up the survival gear and food stuffs of my youth. Something tells me there won't be any food deliveries when I run out of supplies - and if I lose power, I have trouble I suspect.

When the sun came up - some of them wandered off. There are only two of them out there now. I've thought about making a run for it - the Bronco can drive over them if I have to. I have a few knives, but I'd prefer the Ax - its in the shed though.

Well, theres an update. Greg is home - says Jill and him had been caught away from the house but made it home. He agrees that activity has fallen off a bit with the sunlight. I'm going to make a run for it. Taking the laptop, the Bronco and all the non-perishable food. Greg's place is more secure and he has weapons. It's only a few miles - I'm pretty confident of making it. We'll make plans on getting out of town after that.

Wish me luck - I'm going to try to distract them now and make a break for it.

Found a few more things on the web about whats happening.